From the beginning
by dreamlandgirl
Summary: Story rewritten, hopefully better. Try it if you have free time.
1. Prologue: The Beginning

_Story based on characters created by and copyright to GAINAX. I don't owe Neon Genesis Evangelion, I never will. If asked, I'll delete everything. I'm not making money by my writing._

Version 01.02.01 

* * *

_"It was all real. The Children, the Evas... the staff of Nerv, Neo Tokyo 3. It happened really," the voice continues to whisper just loud enough to be heard. Then, it dissolves in a chant, words echoing over and over:_

_ Isn't the time to return home?  
Isn't the time to return home?  
Isn't the time to return home?  
_   


* * *

  
** Prologue:  
The Beginning  
**   


When he arrived in the city, it was a hot, sunny day at Neo Tokyo 3.

This means that it was an average day, at Neo Tokyo 3. Days used to be nearly always hot and sunny, after the Second Impact, at least in Japan. I know it very well and sometimes I miss that cloudless, azure sky, but most of the time I'm happy of the return of the seasons.

Everybody knows that Second Impact, a catastrophe of planetary dimensions, is often compared to a biblical plague. The weather changes were a part of it. Still, it was much more. Human words cannot describe it. Better, human words disappear in front of it, leaving the mouth dry.

It's something that's part of our history and loads of books are filled with relations of what happened that day and the year following. Someone was eager to remember and tell what life was like during and after the Impact, but the majority of the survivors today prefers not to speak about it.

Nevertheless, it's one of the most important subjects on schoolbooks, one on which discussions over discussion are made and about which tired students are forced to learn. In short, it is one of the most boring subjects of classes, yet it's somewhat loved by old teachers that seem to have an endless collection of facts blended with personal experiences about it.

Indeed, the story of the day of the Second Impact, as it's written on the books, can be summed up rather easily: an undetected asteroid hit the southern ice cap melting it. The following abnormal wave wiped away cities on the coasts and then an incredible tide covered a noticeable part of the mainland. 

Obviously, there are a lot of different theories about that asteroid: someone still says that astronomers did discover the asteroid long time before it hit the Earth, but the governments forced them to stay silent to not widespread panic as nothing could have been done. Other people say that it wasn't an asteroid but a military experiment.

Someone else points out that UFOs destroyed the South Pole to show use their presence, while a lot of prophets said that it was their gods' work. Those prophets are closer to the truth than all the books...

It was an easy game for religious fanatics to tell that Second Impact was the realization of their prophecies... people begun to believe in them... old scripts were remembered, the madness of year one thousand restarted, the revelations of Nostradamus became a new truth...

It was the time of purification, and they were the elects. Only a duty was given them by their god: kill the impure, purify the world with the blood. What the divinity had started with the Second Impact, they had to complete with havoc and mayhem. They lurked out from the shadow in which they stayed hidden, waiting.

War.

Wars between countries, war inside the countries. 

And war, like everything else, finished.

Mankind survived the Impact. It was time to rebuild the world. New technologies were discovered and applied: it seemed that the impact had started a new gold era on the Earth. What happened was left behind to look rather at a bright future.

But the Second Impact was only the beginning of another hard trial for mankind that took place in Japan, a trial in which I had a role, I don't know if pivotal or marginal.

Every expert (and there are amazingly few of them) is willing to accept 2014 as the date from which started the events that led to the disaster called "Neo Tokyo 3 Incident".

The "incident" has little space on schoolbooks. This is the best I could find about it:

"What really happened during that day is still a mystery that probably cannot be completely solved, as everyone involved died or disappeared. 

The only thing sure is that seas turned blood red that day and stayed that way for nearly an year.

Some informations leaked out during an awkward trial by Japanese government to cover up what went on during the event pointing out that some experiment, probably on a new weapon of mass destruction, conducted by a private organization that had correlations with the multinational Nerv, went out of control. 

Nerv admits that some facilities in Neo Tokyo 3 were financed by it, but denies that its involvement was substantial.

The company, which was and is strictly correlated with U.N., paid a large amount of money to avoid publicity about its role. It's also noticeable that Nerv gave huge aids for all the Japan after the incident.

The Japanese government, accused to have tried to develop deadly weapons, suggested that it was a terroristic attack that nearly blew up Neo Tokyo 3. As a consequence, a powerful substance that was being developed in some laboratory reached the sea. "

It's noticeable that it's an extract from a science fiction magazine. Nobody was able, or wanted, to give a better explanation, but also nobody was able to explain how red algae could grow so much and assume that color. I still think that water really turned into blood.

Obviously, a lot of theories about the few facts were made to explain what happened.

The craziest of them says that Nerv fought enemies called 'Angels' and had a plan to take over the world. The theory allegedly reports that there are similarities between the 'Second Impact' and the 'Neo Tokyo 3 Incident'

Actually, it's very, very close to what happened.

The Incident was just the climax of a chain of events that started a lot of time before.

Those who know the truth that lies behind the Second Impact think of the Impact as the start of the trial.  
Those who were directly involved in it know that First Impact wasn't the start, but only a phase they had planned. The start was what happened during the First Impact, in their eyes.

Probably, they are both wrong. 

All the wheels came in place only when a boy, in a sunny, hot, summer day arrived at Neo Tokyo 3...

But it's something that experts cannot know, as nobody was waiting him at the train station.

He was just a boy without any idea about what troubles he was going into, but after all nobody knew what kind of hornets' nest we were going to stir. If he had known what his destiny would have been, would he nevertheless have gone to face it?

It's a good question.

Nobody, except maybe him, can answer this question and probably he would avoid to give a clear answer: it would be in character with him.

If I have to make a guess, I think he would have accepted to come here and fight, but maybe I'm just painting him as a hero, projecting my desires over him.

He was just a boy, a boy everyone could have seen sitting in the next seat in a train.

He was easily forgotten, easily unnoticed due to his meek way of dressing, his tame way of acting. He seemingly liked being confused in the background, spineless like a squid, but he wasn't really so, and I think he never really liked to be alone.

If someone had noticed him, maybe that somebody could have noticed that he seemed to be better mannered than the average teenager, and shier also... but more probably nobody had noticed him at all. Their lost.

But then again, I'm sure someone had to notice his deep blue eyes. I surely did, from the first time I saw him.

They were worth a second glance, because teenagers aren't supposed to be so serious.

Still, it's hard to see such gaze even in a man. Maybe someone tried to guess why his eyes were so solemn, so grave, soon dismissing such idly thoughts, because there are more important things to do and think. I did so, until I started to know him better. And boys, it had been hard to know him better.

Each time I thought I figured out everything about him, he would do something to surprise me and shatter my perception on him... until I learnt to accept him as he was. 

Someone wants to forget him today.

Not me. I cannot forget his eyes, and I can't forget nor forgive that in the end I wasn't able to meet his gaze.

What was, and still is, him for me? I don't know, plain and simple.

I tried to figure out in many sleepless nights how he became so important and why, but I found no answers. Still, who was him? 

He was a pilot, a student, a believer, a teenager, a soldier, a betrayed, a man, a whiner, a brave. 

He was cold and mad, sad and smiling, warm and rough, silly and mature, shy and fierce, happy and frowning, sweet and uncaring, weak and strong... 

He was not a betrayer, a liar, a coward, a killer, a hero. 

In short, with more faces than a diamond, just a little less shining and more tough than the jewel. 

It would be easy to forget his vices to remember only his virtues, it would be easier to do the opposite. But, you wouldn't be an inch more close his nature. You just have to accept everything that comes with him.

I would be proud to be called his friend, but I don't think it would be correct. 

We weren't exactly friends, even if we shared all and more things that friends do.

We weren't comrades, even if it happened that we fought together, as each one of us had private battles and personal reasons. Our battles were different, but sometimes our enemies were the same. 

We weren't lovers, but if the circumstances had been different, a lot different, maybe we could have been... or maybe not. If things had been so different, it's more probable that we wouldn't have meet. 

We never hate each other, but our relationship had been stormy, sometimes filled with misunderstandings.

Our relationship, in the end, can be summed up in one word: trust. I trusted him, I still do.

He's the most reliable person I know. He would came back from death if he had a date with you, seriously. Still, after all, he was only a child, one as many others, wasn't he?

He was, or better, he should have been, if this had been a perfect world. He was going to be one of those Children whose existence was never proved while tales were always told about, along with a crazy theory about Nerv and the Second Impact.

Going to meet his destiny in a unknown city, one day in 2015, his name isn't famous as it should be.

For the chronicle, his name was Shinji Ikari, and this is what happened, from that day on.

Obviously, I don't know everything, but I can guess a lot of things. I can guess, for example, how he came here...

I still remember that those days the cicadas, singing their endless song, were the background music of an eternal, hot summer... but soon, their song would have been replaced by cries of war...

* * *

"Do you remember?"
    "Do you?"
"Yes"
    "So I do, now. How could we have forgotten?"
"How we?"
    "I don't know. I don't think we can anymore."
"But, we had."
    "Then, it was right."
"It was sad."
    "It was right." 
"Nevertheless, it was sad. I don't wish to forget again."
    "Neither I do."
"So, we'll remember."
    "It will be painful."
"Pain won't last forever."
    "Neither the memory."
"No. The memory will last forever, buried deep down in ourselves."
    "We will be forgotten."
"Maybe. Maybe not. I don't care anymore."
    "So, lets do it again"
"Everything, but please stop talking like this: it hurts my nerves."
    "Sorry"


	2. Chapter One: Incoming enemy

_Story based on characters created by and copyright to GAINAX. I don't owe Neon Genesis Evangelion, I never will. If asked, I'll delete everything. I'm not making money by my writing._

Version 01.01.02 

* * *

_He placed the ice pack over his black eye, shivering at the contact with his swollen flesh. He surely wouldn't have expected a punch from her. He wasn't pretending to be welcomed with open arms, but a punch? _

_He knew she had a short fuse, so he expected a slap and after all he deserved a slap for having acted like a... let's face it, he acted like a bastard. But it was for the greater good or at least it was what he thought at the moment. He didn't regret his actions._

_But... a punch?_

_She hit him straight in the face, and then luckily the nurses restrained her. She calmed down then she proceeded to tell him exactly what she thought about him. Her words weren't just harsh: they were abrasive._

_He listened patiently, trying to counter her reasons, but he was only able to worsen the conversation. She explained that he shouldn't try to show his face around her, unless he wanted more than a black eye. He tended to believe her, as he never saw her so pissed off._

_He sighed deeply, leaning on his back and studying the ceiling with his left eye. Maybe he had really chosen a bad moment... but it wasn't his fault if the researches are still ongoing. And it wasn't his fault that he was still alive: he did everything he could to die, but his lucky star kept an eye on his back. _

_ "She simply didn't want to face the possibility that he was dead," he said to the ceiling that didn't give him any answer._

_He never thought that things would have gone that way_

* * *

**   
Chapter one:  
Incoming enemy  
**   


Special Agency Nerv was a huge organization under the control of U.N. but few people knew about it, and even who knew its existence had serious doubts about its real duty and importance. The only thing evident was that Nerv had a lot of money, and was swallowing it like a black hole since its creation in 2010, and even before considering that it was organized by transferring GEHIRN... they changed the name, but what was under the name was the same.

Many people who discussed the utility of Nerv were simply envious of its founds and its power, not to say its secrets. Others thought that Nerv was a waste of money that of course would be better spent financing their own organization...  
Others feared Nerv and its Commander... they were the majority.

The menace Nerv was ready to face was likely only a dream, or better a nightmare, as was thought by many until the first angel came.

Its apparition was sudden and subtle. When the instruments caught its signature, they cannot say from where it had come. It seemengly appeared from nowhere. The only thing sure was that it was big and moving fast under the sea, faster than any submergible could muster, faster than anything of its mass could possibly move. 

The firsts who caught its traces were the scientists over an oceanographic research ship, the 'Explorer', which duty was study the migrations of the whales around the oceans.

They were following the big mammals with their sonar, when something started to disturb their researches: apparently, a big body under the water, but it was too big and too fast to exist.

They thought that it was an error, so they controlled their equipment, but the body didn't disappear.

So, they called the nearer country: Japan.

The notice wasn't taken too seriously, but when also a military ship discovered the monster, the war machine started to work.

The course of the object was soon calculated: there were no mistakes; the object was pointing directly towards Japan with unbelievable speed...

Someone studied better the course: it was pointing straight to a singular city: Neo Tokyo 3.

Nerv had expected this, since its creation and its men even before... fourteen years of preparation, study and construction. Neo Tokyo 3 owed its existence only to Nerv: an entire, huge city built entirely by a single organization, with a single purpose.

The city had been finished just in time and the moment when everybody would discover if a good job was done was coming.

But the Japanese Strategic Self Defense Force didn't want to leave the fight to Nerv.  
Plans prepared long time ago for an unlikely possibility were put in practice, the army started to move to the coastline, ready to challenge an unknown enemy. Entire divisions of tanks were placed near the water, their turrets aiming towards the sea, waiting the approaching target.

Inside the HQ of Nerv, the activity had become frantic after the signal about the possible presence of an angel.

The generals of JSSDF were guests and they were watching the line of tanks on the coastline, satisfied by the amount of armored vehicles lined. They were smirking, knowing that against such firepower any enemy couldn't have any possibility.

Silence reigned in the room, except for the service communications and even them were kept to the minimum.

Higher, the commander of Nerv, Gendou Ikari, was sitting behind a desk, empty except for one gray telephone. Standing next to him was the sub-commander, a tall man with grizzled man, older than commander Ikari. He frowned, looking at the displacement of vehicles.

"What a waste of resources..." he muttered under his breath. The last time he asked found, they objected that Nerv swallowed billions of yens like a bottomless pit, and now they were wasting not only money, but probably also lives.

"Indeed," Gendou agreed without turning to face his sub-commander, his face a mask of stone, his fingers intertwined under his nose, waiting the expected development of the situation. He knew that without proof of their uselessness the generals wouldn't retreat. He knew also that it was fundamental that the angel was stopped from none other than Nerv, otherwise, his game would came to an abrupt end.

On the main screen, two torpedo-boat destroyers were on the path of the object: they tried to bomb it with depth charges which unaffected the object in the slightest... soon, the torpedo-boat destroyers were left behind.

The first line of defense had been overcame without problems by the target, but no one really thought that two ships would be sufficient to stop it: no one was prone to wishful thinking.

Now, near to the coastline, the thing slowed down, sailing between the ruins of a submerged city, a sad mark of Second Impact. The thing was elegant in the water, like a dolphin, moving swiftly between the sunken towers without touching them... 

The men inside the tank number 521 were bored. No one told them why they had to go, or why they had to place in that position. They only knew that it wasn't a drill and that a real enemy was expected to attack from the sea. The intentions of the enemy were unknown, and they had to stop it before it could reach the mainland.

That didn't stop the men from being bored: five hours in a tank, looking a flat sea, the waves playing on the beach, could do that...

The commander of the tank let the others cheat because that would relive some of the stress of the long wait, but he preferred to look at the sea, searching for the enemy.

_What will be the enemy? A ship? Or is it another surprise drill?_ he thought idly, scanning the horizon back and forth.

_If it's a ship, why had they called an armored division like us? It's very unlikely that a ship would came in the range of our cannons... it couldn't be another black ship, could it? But if it isn't a ship, what is? An invasion? A landing? No, Colonel Saeba would have told us if there is a invasion in act... And if someone wants to land, where is the air superiority? The more I think about this, the more I'm sure it's a drill... and a stupid drill, in addition: what kind of idiot would line tank so near each other, on a road?_

He was lost in his thoughts so much that he failed to notice that just in front of his tank a large black spot had appeared beneath the water surface, becoming larger and larger. 

When he noticed it, the angel had started to surface, dripping water from what could be called its 'head'.

Too shocked to speak, he looked at the emerging giant walking towards him, each step now making a low vibration, a little storm developing between the legs of the angel.

The hell for fifth tank division had just started.

The commander of the tank number 521 survived and so did his crew, with almost all of their comrades: only who was so unlucky to be in the way of the monster died.  
But that day would have been forever branded in his memory: he wasn't easily impressed, because he faced Second Impact, being ten years old when it happened, enough old to remember it, but this time it was different.

He learnt what an ant would feel in front of a human being and he knew that he survived only because, like a human being, that thing didn't pass its time stomping over the ants instead of going on its path...

Still, he didn't believed his eyes when, after it was ordered to open the fire, he had seen the shots hit the angel, directly, without evident damage. A direct hit made by a 155 mm cannon that didn't do a scratch over the monster. The unarmed angel ignored all the efforts made by fifth division to stop it.

The tank commander could only watch the monster walking away, too fast to be pursued. Soon, he heard the noise of jet fighters over his head. The only thing left to do for him was pray that they would be able to stop that thing, hoping that someone would be better prepared and equipped to deal with that menace than him.

And someone as a matter of fact was ready to face that enemy.

For the first time from its creations, Nerv was going to use its instruments for what they a were made for.  
They had followed the angel until it exited from the water, and then they had monitored the battle.

Everyone in the control room was trained in prevision of an angel attack. Few people, mostly high level personal who knew much more than the average personal, had thought that the drill would become useful someday. They were the ones who worked at Project E, and had seen the final result of that project. They were also the ones who knew the fate of Katsuragi expedition.

Lieutenant Shigeru Aoba was one of them. He was oddly calm, collecting the data from what was previously designed as a target and feeding it to Magi, like he did so many times in the drills. However, this time is mouth was dry and his eyes manifested the tendency to glue in awe towards the main monitor, which was showing the angel in all its power.

A beep from his screen told him that Magi had finished its examination. What he read on the monitor was evident: what else could be a giant like that?

Indeed, he read twice the answer that the supercomputer Magi gave him before speaking, knowing that he would only confirm what everyone in the room already knew yet feeling the importance of the moment, maybe the most important moment in his life.

"Analysis of the target, completed. Pattern..." he couldn't help but stop a moment, swallowing hard to wet his dry throat "... blue. It's an angel" he finished. Done.

Nobody flinched because everyone expected that.

The generals of JSSDF were silent: they had just watched three entire armored division being simple ignored by the target and the failure of the initial air strike.

From high above, only Commander Gendou Ikari and his Sub Commander, Kouzou Fuyutsuki, spoke.

"They are returned, after fourteen years," Fuyutsuki said in an even voice. He had hoped that maybe the Scrolls weren't right.

"It was expected: this time we are ready," Gendou replied coldly, looking down with contempt to the Generals discussing about the next attack. 

_Are we really?_ Kouzou mused, looking thoughtfully the battle going on the monitor in front of him. 

On the main screen, missiles over missiles hit the angel, without causing much trouble to his walk. A bigger missile was caught by its right hand and crushed: the explosion enveloped the arm of the angel, but it reemerged without damages.

Military VTOL were firing at it... the angel simply moved its left arm, projecting from its hand what seemed to be a luminescent spear, and with that it destroyed some aircraft by simply shoving them away from its path, not differently from what a man would do against a swarm of bees that possessed no effective stings. But the attacks didn't stopped, even if the power difference was evident: the men piloting the jets and the men fighting on the ground weren't going to give way to the enemy. 

But their efforts were pointless, and the sacrifice of their life futile, being them not able to even slow down the monster, not to say to distract it from its target.

_Will they understand that's only a waste of time?_ Kouzou mused again as another aircraft crashed. 

As responding to his thoughts, the army and the aviation started to retire, the attacks ceasing and the fighters fleeing away, leaving the angel alone.

Murmurs could be heard from the generals that were discussing something.

"They want to use their best weapon" Gendou commented dryly.

"It will be useless" Fuyutsuki replied, "No man made weapons can defeat it"

Silence fell between them, waiting while a countdown had started. Fuyutsuki comment was accurate, even if pessimistic.

No human weapons could work against the angel, otherwise it wouldn't be an angel: it was common knowledge between the men involved in Project E.

"Operation double N in ten seconds" another lieutenant, Makoto Hyuuga, said, while red numbers reflected over his glasses.

He started to read them in a calm voice, even if he wasn't calm, knowing what was going to happen. His words echoed a now utterly silent control room.

"Situation: all green. Final countdown: five"

"Four"

"Three"

"Two"

"One..."

"... Zero" 

The main screen flickered with electrostatic charges.

* * *

_"She doesn't want to collaborate."_

_The man behind the desk just raised his eyes from the papers he was reading, squaring the younger one, then he sighed._

_"It was expected. There is nothing else we can do."_

_The younger seemed outraged._

_"Why cannot we handle her directly? I'm sure our experts could extract all the information we need from her brain"_

_The older gave a cold smile to his young assistant._

_"She's the one that developed the technology on which our mental probes are based. Those methods won't work with her."_

_The younger seemed to digest that bit of information before speaking again. _

_"We could use other forms to..."_

_The older cut him off._

_"No. The informations she knows are too precious for us. We cannot risk to damage them."_

_"but if she doesn't cooperate, those informations are useless," the young objected._

_"We have time. We just need to find her weak point then use it. She cannot pretend to be insane forever. Sooner or later, she will contact someone, she will do something. We will be ready for that moment"_

_With those words, he dismissed his young and inadequate aid. Indeed, the fact that her had decided to play that way had surprised him. She seemed to know what medic was theirs, and every time he went to visit him, she discussed the strangets subjects. Sometime he wondered if she was really gone, but his superiors assured him she was faking. That closed the question._


	3. Chapter Two: Welcome to Neo Tokyo 3

_Story based on characters created by and copyright to GAINAX. I don't owe Neon Genesis Evangelion, I never will. If asked, I'll delete everything. I'm not making money by my writing._

Version 01.01.01 

* * *

_The party was way too noisy for her taste. There was plenty of people she barely knew. Someone thought it was a mundane occasion to show the full-dress uniform provided by Nerv, but she decided for an evening dress. After all, she wasn't more part of the organization... but invitations for gatherings like the one she was attending continued to reach her._

_Those reunions had always something in common: bad food, ramblings about how well Nerv will do the next year and how well it did the past year... but that was only the start. After some kind of conference, the people would enjoy the buffet, that tasted like cardboard only slightly more tender._

_The only good thing were that the drinks, even if bad, were free. She had concentrated over them while people she didn't care about talked to her. Then, the magic of such gatherings started to work: the older people, employers and ex employers would start to gossip together, leaving out the outsiders. _

_Whispered words about the past times, when Nerv was a different organization with different goals... she cynically remembered that the goal hadn't changed but just the way to reach it. World domination was still in the minds of... she honestly couldn't remember the name of the new CEO, but it didn't bothered her too much._

_She gazed around her, then she proceeded to the bar. With a gaze, the bartender understood her desire and placed a bottle next to a glass. She couldn't help but smile a bit... sometimes she had the impression that the bartender was the only one who knew her._

_Pouring herself a drink, she studied in the mirror in front of her the tactical situation. Some people had started to go home, while other people had separated in little groups, chatting. A particularly bothering group had decided to head towards the bar._

_She listened with half hear their conversation, then something caught her attention, prompting her to join the discussion._

_"He isn't dead..." _

_She had spoken softly, without even bothering to turn her head to face who talked and really, she didn't care._

_The young woman she interrupted turned her head, visibly angry for the remark. _

_'HE' had been the main argument of the evening and they had been talking again and again about what happened the last time she saw him._

_"He is dead. And I would like if we could stop talking about him"_

_"He... isn't dead... I'm leaving his room like... he left it, until he returns." she slurred back._

_"This wouldn't bring him back, you know..." It was another one, a face she didn't know, adding those voice in a helpful voice. _

_"He is alive." The woman said that as a conclusion, gulping down her cocktail and pouring herself another glass of it._

_"You know nothing... he never exited from the Dream, even when he was alive. He wasn't the same. Everybody knows it."_

_"Did you see his body? No. Then he's alive... and even if you saw him dead, I think he could came back."_

_"He couldn't have survived the explosion! "_

_"He cannot be dead... because he's immortal"_

_Those words acted like a slap, firing a heated conversation. Still, she was oblivious of the people gaping at her in disbelief._

_"You're only a drunken who doesn't know nothing. Get real and go over it, like us."_

_The woman swallowed the alcoholic liquid in her glass, smashing it down again on the table so hard that more head turned towards her. She straightened her back and every trace of drunkness disappeared from her face._

_"Watch your tongue, girl. I am not as drunk as you like to think."_

_"If you don't are drunk, then stop to ramble about him being alive"_

_"I'll say it once again as you seem to be rather stubborn" her words gained a deadly glance, "He is alive. That's all. Good night"_

_Said that, she left. _

_The gossips, stopped during her speech, now restarted with a new topic: who was that woman and how she dared to talk that way. _

_But the older Nerv people closed into silence, avoiding that topic at all costs._

* * *

  


** Chapter Two:   
Welcome to Neo Tokyo 3  
**   


The streets were void of vehicles, no pedestrians were walking over the sidewalks... the city seemed a ghost town, like if everybody had disappeared suddenly due to a evil spell. It was an eerie and weird sight: the shops still opened, with no customers... no one was taking advantage of the owners absence.  
No children were playing inside the parks, no birds were flying on the sky... nothing.

The eeriest thing was the utter silence, like it was foreboding for a incoming disaster... who had witnessed Second Impact had known that kind of silence... this time, the activity of the men ceased completely. 

Everyone took refuge inside the appropriate shelters, prepared time ago, during the wars, waiting and, who suspected something, trembling, when the klaxons started to cry. Inside the shelters, people felt that speaking loudly was inappropriate and so the few conversations were made by whispers. The older people who clearly remembered the impact and witnessed the wars didn't want to talk, fear visible in their eyes. 

The children didn't know what was happening and why their parents took hastily them, impeding them from going outside. A mother was cradling her child, happy to have been able to catch him and to bring him with her in the shelter, another mother whose children were at school was silently praying in a dark corner, hoping that they would be in their refuges, and safes. She wasn't alone: wives and husbands were doing the same, not knowing and not having any way to know where and how their loves were. 

A lone child was whimpering in a corner: she was brought inside the shelter by a man who saw her alone and now she wanted her mother who wasn't still inside... the armored door opened and two men forced a woman to enter, but she didn't want to, because her child was still outside... when she heard the child calling her 'mom', she turned and dashed towards the girl, hugging her forcefully, and telling her that she was worried about her, and that she didn't have to make her mother so preoccupied.

Someone envied that woman, remembering someone they lost forever time ago...

Everyone listened attentively if from outside rumors of war were coming... but the silence reined alone, outside...

Only in the distance, a faint rumble could be heard. It was a sporty car; to be precise it was an Alpine Renault at top speed. 

Its color was blue, like the cloudless sky, and the gloss paint reflected the sun like the windshield... it looked like it was newly bought, or exceptionally well treated during the years, but now the way it was driven was careless...

Without the problem of looking for other vehicles except for those stopped in the middle of the road and easy to dodge, the driver forced the car at its top speed, shooting the lights as the pilot was sure that nobody would crash against the car. The Renault, still accelerating even if the engine was voicing its protests along with the tires, constricted to squeak at each turn, was the only visible signal of life in the city, rumbling towards its destination, like if it was a life or death matter.

If someone had seen the car, that someone would have thought about what had brought its driver outside from a shelter during a emergency, and if the driver knew what was doing.

Looking at the way the car dangerously speeded avoiding for mere inches a tremendous accident when it skidded at a corner, it was possible to think that the driver was just crazy, but one would also admit that it was a damn good driver, judging by the way the control of the car was regained after the sideslip, jamming on the brakes and burning some rubber before accelerating again.

The driver's nerves had surely to be made of steel because the Renault continued to take the corners at top speed, without slowing down even in the hardest turns... from the way the hand brake was being used, someone could guess that inside the car maybe there was a professional driver...

And who thought that women and motors didn't come along very well together would be utterly disappointed, because the driver was a quite attractive young woman, dressed in black, her eyes hidden by a nice pair of black glasses, her hands, covered by a pair of driving gloves, forcefully gripping the steering wheel, her face concentrate on the task of driving as fast as she can without killing herself.

Her lips were pressed together, forming a tiny line, while inside her thoughts were turmoil. She knew very well what she was doing, and she also knew better than anyone else what were the risks of driving during that kind of emergency, but she had volunteered for the job, and she was going to do it...

Her thought returned completely on the task of driving when, over a hump, her car literally flew thought the air before the gravity force regained possession over it...

The landing was hard, and some spark could be seen where the bottom of the car rubbed against the pavement.

The driver heard the unpleasant noise of metal scratching against asphalt with an inward sigh.

_My poor car..._ she cried to herself, but without speeding down.

She had a mission to do, and someone to reach... and she was late, thanks to the angel attack that was exceptionally wrong timed... 

_And when something about the angels was well timed?_ the driver mused to herself, before shifting again her train of thoughts about her charge. _I hope that he doesn't get in any trouble..._

Her target was still far away, trying to use a non-collaborative telephone. He was a boy, with dark hair and dark blue eyes, darker than the sky... they were the same color of the ocean during a tempest, with inside a hint of gray steel, like specks of steel wandering in the dark, cold water. His eyes were meek, and seemed to automatically slip away if someone was trying to take a good look at them. They were the most interesting part of him... don't we say that eyes are the mirror of the soul? By his haunted gaze, one should conclude that his souls was a mess... but his gaze had also something... something fleeting, something evasive like a ghost... a promise for something that could be and yet it wasn't. It was odd, but you could have the temptation to look better at them, to see what was under the surface.

Other than the eyes, he was a quite common boy: his skinny frame told that he wasn't excellent at sports and that he wasn't used to a wild life... his arms, uncovered by the short sleeves of his white shirt, were tanned just a bit and not very muscular. But this was average for his age: not too muscular, but there was no need for him to gain weight. A pair of dark pants covered his legs, but one could hazard that them weren't much more fit than his arms. His way of dressing was more formal than what a normal boy was expected to wear in an afternoon: in fact, it was a school uniform.

"It doesn't work... just the right time for an emergency" he whined a bit, before picking up again his bag. He was late, but it wasn't his fault: the trains stopped and the communications were shut down. He tried to contact the number that he received, with no success.

_And now, what can I do?_ he thought to himself, looking around.

The city was desert... the speakers had said that people had to go to the refuges, but when he heard the alarms, everybody was entered inside the shelters, so he didn't know were to go. Besides, the thought that a war would come was highly unlikely. 

So, he sat over a step, pulling out of his pocket a photo. It was a young woman... and it was quite attractive, Shinji had to admit that. He even knew some boy who would do everything for a photo like the one he was holding: the woman was wearing a skimpy and revealing top, with short, short pants, which left her long, shapely legs uncovered. She was doing the sign of victory with one hand, her bust was bent towards the photographer, and that particular position was exalting her breasts, like they had that need... and if it wasn't enough, they were evidenced by a red mark and a writing, 'look at those !'. On the photo there was also a trace of red lipstick left by a kiss... and a signature: Misato Katsuragi.

He blushed when he was that photo, but the thing that puzzled him mostly was in what way that woman was connected with his father. She seemed to be a person completely different from his father.

Father.

It was a surprise to receive that letter from him. The fact that it contained a single command wasn't so surprising. He had ordered him to go to him. Not asked, ordered. In one word. No more. The other parts were documents he read, without understanding much, mostly because large parts were covered with black ink. The few thins he collected was that apparently an organization connected with his father wanted him for something. With the letter, came also a train ticket and a badge. 

Now, sitting and watching the photo, he was thinking what was he doing at Neo Tokyo 3. He knew that facing his father wouldn't be pleasant, so why had he bothered to come?

Maybe something in the letter tickled him: after all, the organization who called him seemed to be powerful, and they asked expressly for him.

Was he... important?

Maybe his father was going to accept him, if he was important...

_Wishful thinking..._ The most probable scenario was that his father needed him for something, he remembered, folding again the paper and looking some more at the image of the woman. 

_Is she her secretary? Or... a lover? But why is she coming to look after me? And... Why had she sent this photo? I don't understand... why does the U.N. need me? What is that special agency... what was its name again? _

He picked again the paper.

_Ah, Nerv, that's it. What had my father to do with that?_ too many questions to haul his mind.

Still sitting, he started to think.

His father. The man he knew so little about. The man who had left him. He could remember when he was left behind. He cried a lot, near a bag too big for a children to bring around... he cannot remember who brought him to the train station... things were confused. He couldn't say if someone went with him to his new house.

House, not home. He was never able to think about the place where he lived like a home. It was a place to stay... like a dump, where the garbage is left. For his father, he was obviously garbage to throw away. For his mother... he couldn't say. She died when he was younger.

He wasn't sure when exactly she died... surely before he was sent away. His mother... sometime, he had seen a ghostly face in his dreams, but blurred, vague. It was the face of a woman, he knew that, and it was smiling... he was sure that it was his mother's face, but never, in his dreams, he clearly had seen it. But that face rarely visited his dreams.

He also didn't remember why his mother died. Surely he was to young to remember, or so he always told to himself. He could have asked to his father to tell him something about his mother, or to show him a photograph, but he couldn't. He simply couldn't talk with him.

Another thing he remembered about his mother was when she took him in her arms. It was a fogged, dim memory... he wasn't even sure if he **really** remembered it or if it was only a trick of his mind.  
But what he remembered was that it was a day...

_a day like today,_ he reflected, _... a cloudless sky, and there was the sun. We were... somewhere, in the open air. She picked me up, while talking with someone... a tall man who wasn't father... maybe_

Some memory of his childhood was also about his father, but the most prominent were one, in which he saw his father like a dark giant... so tall, dressed in a black attire. Dark like a shadow, and he was only a little child covered by that shadow towering over him. Then, his father turned away, away from him. He could see only his back, so much larger in his child eyes, covering the sky, like a black cloud.

That was a memory he hated, because in that reminiscence he remembered that he was afraid of his father, because he wasn't who had to be. His father had become an evil ogre... and it was wrong. He remembered that something was wrong.

He remembered clearly a single yet powerful thought that crossed his mind in that moment: he wanted his father back, because the thing in front of him wasn't his father.

The sad thing was that he really didn't remember how his father behaved around him before leaving him. He couldn't say if he was a bad parent before leaving him, before that his mother died... actually he didn't know what was like his father.

_so he threw me away_, he remembered again.

His life had changed. He had to live with a guardian.

His guardian was a passable person, in our boy opinion, but he had no illusions: his guardian kept him only for the money, not out of pity or compassion. It was only a work, like teaching.

Life had been lonely. His guardian never spoke too much with him and was always busy with the school. He honestly couldn't blame him for that.

What could he do in his life? Discharged by his father, he had no purpose. What was the point in going to school? What was the meaning of his life? Everything that happened to him was only a consequence of the actions that other people did... he had no choices, no desires, no dreams. He never wanted to be an adolescent... maybe, he could also die. He didn't think that it would matter a lot.

Once, he wrote his thoughts about his live in a composition... the result was only that his teacher become angry with him.

_And now, I'm here... why, father, did you want me after ten years?_ he asked, fidgeting with a piece of paper, his gaze down to his shoes.

He thought when, a couple of days before, the quiet routine of his life changed. All started when his guardian said that there was a parcel for him, from Neo Tokyo 3... 

Suddenly, an aircraft flying very low, and roaring past over his head took all his attention.

"Jet fighter ? So low, and over a city ?"

Other hissing sounds gained his attention. This time the forms in the sky were without wings and littler, but they were going towards the same curse that had the aircraft.

"Missiles..." he whispered in awe, then he froze when he realized that a missile was going to hit a palace just in front him.

He started to run away, while behind his back a ball of fire enveloped the last floor of the palace, disintegrating them and scattering debris all around.

Shinji heard then an entire concerto of explosions, becoming near. He stopped, the last pieces of glass landing around him.

A giant was walking. Missiles were exploding against it, without giving it a scratch. Shinji saw as that huge beast smashed down a pair of planes, with a luminescent stick that seemed to exit from his hand. His mind was in a overload: just in front of his eyes, there was the stage of a film about a monster flatting a city... a bad catastrophic movie, with the only difference that it was real. The heat he felt with the nearer explosion was proving that... and even the best sound system couldn't give someone the feeling of the shock waves inside his stomach and head, or made the Earth tremble like that.

Still, Shinji blinked a couple of times, hoping that everything was a mirror, or a nightmare, or something. He pinched himself: he was awake... and a plane had apparently thought that crashing over him would be a good idea. He saw the flames around the wrenched remains of the exploded aircraft, then he run away. His eyes widened when a car appeared suddenly, stopping next to him with a squeak of tires and shielding him from the explosion on the ground. The door of the driving side opened, revealing the subject of his photo, this time in the flesh.

The woman couldn't believe her luck: she had found him, she wasn't as late as she thought she was, and he was still alive. Nevertheless, the last condition could change soon, for both of them.

* * *

_The things he learnt about himself didn't bothered him too much. He had figured out something similar. But the part about her, that bothered him greatly. His perception of reality had changed and he couldn't see everything in the same light as before._

_Moreover, lately, there was in her a twisted impulse to change their relationship... a thing that scared him, but he should have expected something similar._

_He had grown alone, neglected, and like a tree forced beneath a heavy weight, he grew convoluted and warped._

_The plant grew, until it started to yield fruits that ripened in the coldness._

_A mysterious fruit, left alone and neglected, but that when it's ripe, the hand of the master is free to pick._

_But, in the same cold maze, another plant grew contorted and warped. _

_When he and she met, maybe they sought in each other a bit of a much needed warmth, growing together for a bit._

_Still mulling those thoughts, he didn't heard her entering the locker room._

_He heard the faint noise of tissue being dropped on the floor, so he turned, discovering that she had finished to undress and stood naked in front of him, without shame._

_He was surprised and startled, unable to move, unable to speak, only able to breath slowly._

She pressed herself against him, interlacing her fingers with his. He let her do so without opposition.

_"I don't want... I cannot escape from here. I cannot live outside... unless you come with me," she whispered slowly, then she nested her head over his shoulder, her breath tickling his neck, "because your soul... is as twisted as mine."_

_He felt her warm body, her heartbeat while his tiny droplets of sweat formed on his forehead. _

_He freed his hands, then he grabbed her shoulders, pulling her away from him._

_Their gazes locked for long moments, each other trying to read the emotions in the eyes of the other, then she grabbed her clothes and went away, without turning, without saying any word._

_He just stood still, the cold air drying his sweat. He wished he were able to found the word to tell her that he wasn't enough strong..._

_A change was lost forever._

_He had the possibility to break the yoke that trapped him, but he couldn't do so. The bonds with other people were too strong and tied him where he was._


	4. Chapter Three: Encounters

_Story based on characters created by and copyright to GAINAX. I don't owe Neon Genesis Evangelion, I never will. If asked, I'll delete everything. I'm not making money by my writing._

Version 01.01.02 

* * *

_Thick, dark gray clouds covered the sun that dull morning. It was an awful day to do a trip. Still, he had no choice._

_He sighed, looking out of the window of his train, scattered with drops of rain. _

_"The last time, it was a sunny day," he said aloud, gaining a strange from a woman sitting next to him. He pretended to not having seen her._

_He recognized the hills that announced that soon he would be at the station of Tokyo 3. He wasn't exactly looking forward to reach the city and the people he would meet there, but ending the long travel was a nice perspective._

_Still looking outside, he tried to remember on which hill he used to trek, remembering how sometime he had recurse to hitchhike to return home, when he was too tired._

_Happier times, he thought, watching his bespectacled face staring back at him. _

* * *

** Chapter Three:   
Encounters  
**

* * *

Shinji was still stupefied, when the woman spoke.

"You're Shinji Ikari, aren't you?" she asked. He seemed more... no, just different than his picture.

"Katsuragi... Katsuragi-san ?" he queried tentatively, while debris had started to fall around them.

"We'll do the proper presentation later ! Now, enter the car !"

He obeyed immediately, rushing for the other door and jumping inside. She didn't let him the time to close the door before accelerating, just before a major piece of junk that was an aircraft hit the ground where the Renault was.

Misato looked critically at the missiles, steering savagely to avoid the debris falling down and the cars between the streets.

"Ha! No way those simple missiles could stop it! " She bellowed, but Shinji was too preoccupied in the task of fastening his belt to give real attention to the woman. He realized that his hands were trembling and his throat dry.

Finally, surely in his seat, he hazarded a look towards the monster, his higher portion still visible in the distance, while the aircraft continued to attack it.

"Well, I'm Misato Katsuragi, Shinji. Sorry, I'm a bit late" Misato had decided that talking with the boy wasn't a distracting task during a high-speed zigzag in a street with the risk of crashing against a car.

"... it was my fault," he replied "I should have waited you at the train station."

She spared a glance to the boy, raising an eyelid.

"You aren't easily impressed, are you ?" she asked, because his behavior was so apparently calm in that situation.

"... what is that... thing ?" he countered, too shocked to be frightened.

Misato frowned before answering, what was a smile gone from her face. That thing had affected him deeply... the moment, after ten years, had come.

"An angel"

_Angel?_ He asked to himself. The car continued to run at his top speed, and he only prayed for his safety, becoming paler when the car sideslipped during a turn.

"Don't worry, I'm a good driver..." she tried to reassure him with a smile... without much results, because she avoided for a mere inch another car. Shinji had decided to keep his mouth shut, at least until the run through the city wasn't over...

He was surprised that the woman who had to pick him came driving a sporty car, even more surprised that some kind of monster had attacked the day he had come... and, he had the foreboding sensation that the day would become worse... he finally sighed in relief when they exited the city, racing over a large road.

His relief was short lived, because on the top of a hill, where they had a fantastic sight over the angel and the surroundings of it, Misato stopped the car, pulling out a binocular and starting to look at the angel.

"What are they doing? " the aircraft had started to retire and the fire had ceased.

"They wouldn't use a N^2 mine ! Shinji, stay down !" she cried, grabbing him and forcing him back to his seat.

The only thing he could see was a blinding light coming from where the angel was, and then a powerful wind, which made the car roll.

When he opened again his eyes, he found himself under Misato, who was trying to exit from the car.

Slowly, both of them pulled out their heads, looking back towards where the explosion was, the wind pulling back their hair and the light forcing them to keep their eyes half closed.

"That's the power of our final weapon!" a general bellowed, hitting the table with a close fist and looking triumphantly towards Gendo.

_Arrogant... stupid arrogant_ Fuyutsuki sighed internally... but he wished that the angel was defeated. _Better be looked scornfully by them, than have to face more angels._

"We have lost all signals due the interference. We'll have them back only in about ten second" Makoto explained, busy typing over his keyboard, the strings of commands flickering on his screen.

"There will be nothing, because nothing can survive that blast" a general liquidated the argument, then he spoke directly to Gendo "With that, your toy is completely useless" he smirked.

Gendo didn't move, waiting. If the General was right, his game would end, and it would be bad.

"We're receiving the first signals... energy signature in the middle of the area. External view back online" Makoto announced while the main screen returned to life, showing the clouds lifted by the explosion slowly settling again down. A massive, dark body was in the middle of the explosion, still covered by the clouds of dust. The old face in the middle of the chest was destroyed, but under that a new face was growing.

The angel was damaged, but it could be seen that it was growing and regenerating itself... fast.

_A.T. Field..._ Fuyutsuki reflected. It was the reason because an angel couldn't be so easily defeated, as far as he has understood.

The general sat down again, their faces clearly angry for their failure. One of them smashed his close fist against the desk, swearing against the damn monster.

Soon, the non-piloted helicopter that was doing the recognition ceased to be. The angel had destroyed it.

"It's learning and adapting" Fuyutsuki added, and internally, as a scientist, he was fascinated.

"If it didn't, it wouldn't be a individual weapon and a menace." Gendo replied.

A light on Gendo's phone started to blink, and he picked up the receiver. At the same time, a phone rang over the desk where the generals were sitting.

Their conversation was longer, much longer than Gendo's, who simply listened, than said yes before hanging up.

Finally, a general raised his gaze towards Gendo.

"Our best weapon was useless. We must leave it to you"

Gendo stared back the generals, his expression not changing from their news, and then he stood up, preparing to walk away.

"Ikari, do you think you could stop it ?" a general asked, sarcastically.

Without turning to face them, Gendo answered, readjusting his glasses on the bridge of his nose

. 

"That's the reason why Nerv exists"

Following his leader, Fuyutsuki was deeply thinking.

'It's our duty to stop the angels, and it's one of the reasons why Nerv exists... but could we really stop it? We have no pilots and no Evangelion units ready to fight. The angel couldn't have chosen a worse moment' his reflections were interrupted by a dry order from Gendo.

"Start the preparation to send unit 01 in battle"

"Unit 01? But we don't have a pilot" Fuyutsuki objected, instantly knowing that he had been left in the dark about something again.

"Incorrect. A spare pilot is coming. He'll be here in time" Gendo announced coldly.

"I see," Fuyutsuki agreed, knowing perfectly what Gendo was intending. There was only one spare pilot that could work for unit 01... years of trials and tests, only to have confirmed what they already knew. Years wasted in searching why it had to be done in that way... still, he wished Gendo had told him what he was going to do.

"Old friend, the clock had started to tick, now" Gendo added cryptically, the corner of his lips slightly raising.

"Indeed," Fuyutsuki internally mused if really had started to tick when they discovered that thing in Antarctica and tried to understand it with the foolish of the science, or if it was ticking long time before... and he asked to himself why he had helped to restart that bloody clock again.

"I cannot believe they really used a N^2 bomb! They must have been desperate" Misato yelled, extracting herself from the car and looking sadly at it.

The once gloss appearance was now ruined, a side full with scratches, a bumper half disjointed... And the car was not lying on its four wheels, but instead on one side.

Slowly, Shinji exited from it, looking astonished at the monster visible in the distance. It was still moving, he was sure.

"Shinji, can you help me a bit ?" Misato asked, after having unsuccessfully tried to tip over her car.

"What I have to do ?" Shinji asked, while thinking that he surely didn't imagine that his day would be so... so strange. First, a monster, then, Katsuragi-san... then a big explosion. And now...

"Just help me to overturn my car, please... pull with me at the three" 

He nodded, placing himself next to Misato, his back to the car, his hands grasping the gloss surface, trying to gain a better grip to help Misato, who was now ready to pull.

"Ready ? One, two, three ! Pull !" with their efforts combined, the car was again ready to move, on its four wheels.

"Thanks, Shinji"

"It was nothing, Katsuragi-san"

"Too much formalities, just call me Misato, Shinji" she said, looking inside the car.

She noticed that not only the exterior of the car was damaged, but also the interior: the battery was leaking fluid: they surely couldn't go too far. But she had a plan... having plans was her work.

Shinji was perplexed when Misato stopped inside a desert city, pulling out some tools from the trunk.

"Just follow me" she said when she noticed his perplexed gaze. He then looked wide-eyed when she started to break open the hoods of the parked cars and to pull out their batteries. His duty became soon clear: he had to pick them and bring them back to the car.

His disapproving gaze didn't stop Misato who robbed sixteen batteries, leaving a major number of cars with a damaged hood. Then, back to the car, she moved the batteries inside, starting to pull out some wire and to makeshift connections between them. Soon, the batteries were all wired together and the car ready to go.

Again on the road, she noticed that Shinji didn't have stopped to ogle the batteries, and then her.

"Katsuragi-san... are you sure that we can rob those batteries ?" he asked timidly.

"But off course ! It's a Nerv emergency and I have, as official of Nerv, all the rights to take them ! It isn't a robbery !" she explained smiling at him "you 're as touchy as a little man !"

"Are you sure aren't you childish ?" He asked back, regretting his words.

Misato's smile became forced, then she looked slyly at the boy sat next to her, preparing to get revenge for his remarks. She started to make the car sideslip, invading the opposite alley and going very, very near to a guardrail during a turn. The tires were crying and the car was a concert of noises, enhanced by her ruthless and furious way of driving.

"Aaaah ! I retire everything ! I'm sorry ! I'm sorry !" he begged closing his eyes and grabbing the seat until his knuckles became white, like if his life was depending on it.

Instantly, the car stopped his crazy course to return in the right alley, still going very fast.

They both stayed silent for a bit, each lost in private thought.

Shinji was looking outside the window, thinking again why he had decided to come to Neo Tokyo 3 after his father had called him. He never was comfortable around his father... or better, he never had the possibility to discover if he could be able to comprehend him. For what he remembered, he didn't see him for at least... too much time to remember him very well, except for his eyes and his gaze full of contempt. So, why was he going to see him? Surely it wouldn't be a pleasure... so why he hoped differently?/p> 

_I knew it... it was a mistake to came here_

And yes, he was also thinking what kind of strange woman was sitting behind the wheel.

Misato, on the other hand, had other, important thoughts.

She picked up the phone, calling the HQ. Soon, Makoto answered. She simply asked to have a convoy ready for her to enter the Geo Front and confirmed that she had founded Shinji.

Then, she looked at herself.

_My poor dress... and it was the only one that fitted me well... and now it's dirty, and torn... practically, to dump off. I have crushed my glasses, the JSSDF be damned with its useless mine ! And worse, my car... I have yet to finish to pay for it and for its modifies... its paint work, wasted, the front bumper is up with the adhesive tape, the right side is all dented... and I have just spent so much money... why I have to be so unlucky? Maybe I can put the repair bill under the voice 'damaged in service'... no, they surely won't pay me for it... damned restriction of budget._

Shinji interrupted her thoughts.

"Misato-san... why did my father want me back ?" he asked.

"... Isn't better ask directly to him ?" Misato replied. She didn't want to enter that topic. Moreover, the Commander didn't explain what was in his mind, like always.

"So, we are going to meet him" was his statement. _Only because he has a use for me, he wants me back_

From his appearance and his tone of voice, she could say he wasn't appalled a bit by the thought of seeing his father. She could understand.

"So, you don't like your father, do you?"

Shinji closed himself in an obstinate silence, his gaze fixed over his knees. She remembered herself when she was younger.

"You aren't alone" she said, a trace of sadness in her voice. She didn't know if she was going to say that she didn't like his father, or if she didn't like hers. Both, probably.

Shinji looked at her, surprised by her words.

She answered at the silent question in his eyes.

"Yes, I don't like much your father. But don't tell that aloud" she winked at him, and then she picked up some paper.

"Here, you can find some answer to your questions."

It was a folder, labeled 'for your eyes only'. Shinji started to read through it, without real interest. T was too much complicated to be appealing, too much thick to be easy to navigate, too little clear to be complete.

"So, this is my father's work," he said, even if he didn't understand what it was.

"Yes... you can call me... well, let's say a public international officer" it was enough correct, after all: she was working for a Agency at the orders of U.N., even if it was more like a façade: the kind of power Nerv had over Neo Tokyo 3 was absolute and dictatorial... It was only a step before martial law.

The truth was that U.N., or for what it mattered the government of Japan had no rights over Nerv, given its special status. A status just acquired with the arrival of the first... or, for who knew better, like her, the third.

"So, your noble work is 'protect the world'... like my father" Shinji quoted a line of text that caught his eyes from the document that was given to him.

Misato looked at him, puzzled.

"Are you making fun of me?"

He shook his head, "not at all"

During the conversation, Misato had driven the car to what seemed to be a train station. It was desert, but a big convoy had just reached it, running over a monorail. It was obviously a convoy studied to carry cars and other vehicles. Misato drove her car over a wagon, as she was used to do that maneuver.  
When the car was in position, special grips grabbed its tires, blocking it on place, then the train started again. Shinji wasn't especially interested, but soon his opinion would change, after the train exited a gallery.

"That's... that's a real Geo Front !" he exclaimed stupefied from the sight he could now admire, flatting his nose against the glass of the window to have a better view of that special and unusual scenario, his eyes wandering around, looking something he had only heard about, or seen imaginary draws. He never thought that it could really exist something of that kind and be so spectacular.

Indeed, the view was spectacular. They were over a monorail, suspended high over the ground, so his gaze wasn't obstructed by anything. The Geo Front in itself was only a big, underground hole, but the man's work had dramatically changed it: there was a beautiful, blue lake, and green grass, and woods... the painted wall gave the impression of a real, cloudless sky, and also the illusion of the sun was recreated by big mirrors which caught the light from the outside, convoying it inside. In the center of the Geo Front, there was a overturn pyramid with square base, from which another pyramid, its color a dark shade of purple, generated. That was the HQ of Nerv.

"Impressive, isn't it? That's our Geo Front... HQ of Nerv, but also the base to rebuilt the planet... and the last fortress for mankind" Misato said seriously, but Shinji hadn't heard a word. The sight raptured him.

During all the way, until they arrived down, he stared around. Finally, they exited from the car.

Misato leaded the way to the gates for Nerv. She explained Shinji how to use his badge, then she made him enter ahead her.

Inside, the sight wasn't as impressive as outside, but impressive nevertheless.

Long, steel made corridors, illuminate by a powerful light... no windows, but them were unnecessary. The temperature was not too cold and not too hot. From gust of wind, Shinji guessed that it was conditioned air.

"Let's go!" Misato said, starting to unfold what seemed to be a plant. Shinji trotted behind her for a while, looking the empty walls of the structures and a long collection of closed doors and crosses.

When, after ten minutes, they didn't crossed someone else, Shinji started to doubt his guide. He had the nagging sensation that something wasn't right... like the fact that she was holding the map overturned.

_We are lost_, he thought without surprise. He had expected something like this. It was clearly his unlucky day... he let pass another five minutes, before timidly voicing his opinion.

_Maybe I had to turn right... no, it was left, then the fifth corridor on the right, until we..._ Misato thought were interrupted again by a meek yet petulant voice.

"Misato-san... aren't we still arrived ?"

"Just follow me" she said.

"... Misato-san, we are lost, aren't we ?" he asked again, missing the irritation in her voice.

She inhaled hastily, while a single thought crossed her mind.

_Busted!_ but she wasn't who she was for nothing. Her guilty face was covered by a smile when she turned towards him.

"Off course we aren't lost ! Maybe just a bit off from the right way" she narrowed her right index and her thumb, "just a tiny bit ! Don't worry, nobody gets lost inside the HQ of Nerv... I have everything under control"

Shinji nodded, hoping that it was really so. It wasn't like he was eager to face his father, but wandering without a goal was unnerving... and freighting, because sure as the sun he wasn't able to find the exit again.

After another couple of minutes, Misato showed that everything was under her control, putting in practice her best plan.

Operation "Ask Ritsuko" had started.

Under the water, or what kind of liquid it was, because it seemed too dense and oddly tinged to be water, there was someone... or something. Little bubbles were exploding on the smooth, calm surface of this pool. Its main function obviously wasn't swimming, because only a catwalk was the way to access it. Maybe it was a big, square tank half filled.

That didn't change the fact that the proof of the presence of something under the surface was still present. This something, with a more accurate exam, was a human being, because various items, like some clothes, were presents on the edge of the tank.

A dark shadows was moving under the liquid, next to one wall. The one under the liquid was dressed with a wet suit and a scuba, but the way the wet suit clad the body made obvious that it was a woman.

_Here... it's ok even the 145 lock, and its connector_ she thought with a hint of satisfaction. She wasn't sure that it could work, but she wanted to be sure that everything was perfect, that no human errors could jeopardize the operation.

It wasn't her work to control that kind of details, but she liked to do it, she liked to be in the first line around her work: it wasn't enough to study something, she also felt the desire to do something more manual. She knew it wasn't the most proficient way to work for a chief whose duty was to plan and control the work of the others, but she had decided that in this case was absolutely irrelevant.

Besides, the work kept her mind busy: there were too many things that worried her, like what they could do if the plan of the Commander wouldn't work, or if they were defeated... he seemed self-assured like ever, but she knew better than the others how their hopes were frail.

_Everything bet over a single unit... over a single..._, she tried to get rid of that kind of thoughts, but it was really a big bet against the odds.

She had the suspicion that he hadn't told everything to her, otherwise she wasn't able to explain that kind of faith... or maybe it was simply desperation. Still, he wasn't a man prone to that kind of emotion.

The only thing she knew all too well was that every attempt to prepare the unit for active duty was unsuccessful. More than enough to worry her.

_Did he plan to use **her **?_ under the water glasses she frowned. She didn't want to think about **her** in that moment... better, she didn't want to think about her, period. But it was unavoidable, because they had to work together... and because she was stealing **him**

. 

_no, he won't use her... **she** is obviously too precious to be risked..._ she thought with bitter sarcasm. He used her, like he used the others, but he was truly worried for her... that made Ritsuko mad. The young doctor never got that kind of attention. If she was enough lucky, she could hope he would save a tiny bit of his time for her... by far minor that the time he would gave to **her**, or to the project.

Still lost in thoughts, she finished her control, and then she exited from the liquid, just in time to hear the speakers call for her.

"Doctor Akagi is requested to contact immediately Captain Katsuragi. Repeat: Doctor Akagi is requested to contact immediately Captain Katsuragi" said the emotionless, computerized voice.

The doctor looked at the speakers like they had offended her.

_She's lost... **again**_, she thought, angry. It wasn't the first time that the Captain had lost her way inside Nerv. It was enough unnerving when her work was interrupted due this kind of requests, but now, during an emergency... 

_It seems that we're back young..._ she mused. It was funny how the old habits had returned so rapidly... and it was funnier that she wasn't able to be angry with Misato for long time. After all, who could be angry with her?

_Old times..._

She shook her head, unzipping her wet suit. Under it, she was wearing only a swimsuit with high legs, aquamarine colored. That left her long legs uncovered, and the elasticized tissue clung to her body, exalting her figure, which was in no way inferior to Katsuragi's, in that revealing outfit. Also her blonde hair, cut at shoulder length was particular, and her gray green eyes, always moving, examining and judging.

She decided to not loose time in dressing up: she grabbed only a white lab coat and her briefcase. A pair of tennis shoes completed her trim.

_Now, where could she be ?_ she thought, walking briskly away from the tank, not forgetting to turn off the lights.

Meanwhile, Shinji was still following Misato inside an elevator. He had the nagging sensation that they were walking randomly, but after all, his guide made a call to someone.

He hoped that they would find them.

Misato, on the other hand, was trying desperately to remember where she had to go, and where she was supposed to be. Her plant had proved useless, and she wasn't still enough practice... after all, she had been transferred in the new HQ only for three weeks. The better surprise wasn't her transfer, and, truthfully, nor was the fact that she would command the operations against the angels, even if it was a good new.

The better surprise was found out Ritsuko working at her same project. Obviously, Misato knew that Ritsuko worked for Nerv: the doctor had started even before her. But she was surprised that they were going to work side to side, at the same level. Technically, Misato had a slightly minor grade than Ritsuko, practically Ritsuko overpowered her, because she was the responsible for the units, MAGI, and many other things.

_She knows more things than me..._ Misato reflected one day, knowing that she was only a pawn inside the organization. An important pawn, but still a pawn.

That didn't bother her too much: what they gave her was enough, and surely, what she didn't knew wasn't necessary to perform well her duty: she trusted Ritsuko, and she was sure that she wouldn't hide nothing important from her, nothing she needed to know.

And, to see again Ritsuko was good. It was like returning back in the time... she remembered when she used to ask often Ritsuko advices, or notes, or other things. She had returned to her old habits: she had called Ritsuko many times, when she got lost inside Nerv, because she didn't want to ask someone else who could gossip about how she was incapable of orienteering inside the HQ.

Instead, the classical call for Ritsuko was professional enough.

The elevator door opened in front off them with a hissing sound, interrupting Misato's thoughts. In the frame appeared a woman.

"Captain Katsuragi, where are you going ?"

Ritsuko stepped inside, pushing Misato's chest with hers.

Misato faced her friend with a smile, sticking out a bit her tongue between her lips, doing a quite embarrassed face.

"Sorry, I lost my way" Misato replied.

"Just follow me, **Captain**" Ritsuko said, trying to convey more anger in her words, but in reality trying to not smile back. She admired the way Misato was acting, so calm in that situation. It was incredible how the Captain was able to smile in those hard moments, and it was good to see someone optimist, while she was naturally pessimist, considering how the optimist was someone who knew better than many other people what an angel could do.

"How is possible that you lost yourself here, at Nerv ? You had three weeks to learn where is the command center and the cages..." Ritsuko inquired, still a bit angry.

"Sorry, sorry" Misato replied waving a hand in front of her face, looking like a young girl in front of a teacher, excusing herself for having forgotten her homework. Inside, Misato was wondering why her friend was wearing a swimsuit... true, she had sent a revealing photo to Shinji, but she didn't think that also Ritsuko would try to do something like her...

_No, wait a moment..._ she regained her control over her own thoughts, _ Ritsuko isn't the kind of person who does something like this without reason. Surely it's an accident that she's so dressed here at Nerv, and more surely she didn't dressed in this way for Shinji... I wouldn't have done something like that, so she surely wouldn't... but maybe she's less serious than me..._ she smiled at the thought, so many times proved false.

Ritsuko decided that it was better to let go the topic, so she took her time to give a good gaze to a bewildered Shinji.

'Things had started to be surreal' he thought frowning internally. A young woman dressed in a swimsuit and a lab coat had appeared from nowhere, becoming the guide... he couldn't imagine what was she doing so dressed inside the HQ of a military organization. He thought that it could be a dream. 

After all, his father had called him, when he arrived to Neo Tokyo 3 he had seen a monster stomping over the houses and a young woman, who had sent him a fairly revealing photo had picked him up with a sporty car, driving like if the devil was chasing her, then he had seen a huge explosion and survived it, becoming accomplice in a battery robbery and now, inside a labyrinth full of closed door and endless corridors, a woman had found them, wearing a swimsuit. Maybe it was really a dream...

_Too realistic to be a dream, and too strange_, he remembered to himself. His dreams weren't so chaotic.

Ritsuko was aware that her strange outfit had attracted the attention of the third and she couldn't blame him for the indiscreet gazes he was giving her... she knew also that her credibility like a scientist had dropped even in Misato's eyes, who was openly looking at her, with an unexpressed question plastered on her face. Ritsuko decided to change the unexpressed topic of the thoughts of them.

"So, this is the Third Children ?" she asked, squaring openly Shinji.

Ritsuko caught that the boy looked immediately away, now that he had the attention of both women, not making eye contact, so unlike his father whose eyes tried to catch and swallow the eyes of who was talking to him.

He wasn't different from what Ritsuko expected, but that wasn't important. The most important thing would be if he could synch or not. 

"Yes, he is. " Misato decided that it was the time to do some presentation, to make Shinji more at ease.

"Ritsuko, that's Shinji Ikari, Third Children. Shinji Ikari, let me present you Doctor Ritsuko Akagi, director of the first section of technological division... she is the chief of project E... and..." she couldn't resist, but she had to add something funny "... she has got a nice pair of legs, hasn't she?"

Shinji blushed immediately, while Ritsuko gave her a gaze of death. Misato smiled innocently, then Ritsuko sighed, offering her hand to Shinji, who took it hesitantly.

Ritsuko gave him a forceful handshake, noticing how he seemed embarrassed and sighing to herself.

_If that's her idea on how make him comfortable... she must have sent something indecent to him, that's why she grinned like an idiot when I asked what she added to his parcel_, Ritsuko remembered.

"Nice to meet you, Shinji" she said, ignoring Misato's comment.

"... the pleasure is mine" Shinji slurred out, not completely sure if it was the right thing to do and not knowing what the Doctor would think of him now that he had blushed like an idiot. 

Misato's comment that hit the right mark: he had taken a look at Ritsuko's legs... and not only. To his defense, it must be said that nearly everybody would have looked oddly at Ritsuko and asked what was she doing.

After the comment, Misato decided to hold her tongue a bit, because Ritsuko seemed on the verge of exploding.

On her part, Ritsuko was fuming because she hadn't taken the time to dress herself, because her friend had made fun of her with a boy that had half her age... that kind of things could gave her a headache, in that kind of situation. And what was going to happen was enough to make her unhappy...

_He's only a boy... _

She erased the thought. There was no place for pity nor disappointment, in that moment. Still, he was His son. 

Shinji was simply trying to found a sense in which Misato said about him being the Third Children.

_I'm a only child, from where does the Third stuff come out?_ even if puzzled, he didn't dare to speak, not after making a complete fool of himself, and surely not with a doctor so dressed.

Exited the elevator the guide had become Ritsuko, and they had changed pace: there was an aura of security around Ritsuko and the way she walked without hesitation at each turn, looking straight in front of her, without saying a word.

She didn't lose time, like she had memorized all the plan of Nerv in her mind... which was exactly what she had done. Her trip ended in front of a door, which led to an escalator.

Now, they could simply let the escalator do the work and wait to arrive to the cages.

"So, he's always so silent ?" Ritsuko asked directly to Misato, while Shinji seemed to try to disappear or at least to look like a wall.

"Yes, in that he's like his father... I mean, in being antisocial and wearing a long face" Misato answered.

Ritsuko looked to the boy, whose face had become longer at Misato's remark. The blonde woman concluded that something had happened between them, but she cannot put the finger on it. She hoped only that wasn't something that could restrain him from piloting.

Shinji, hearing Misato saying that kind of things, frowned. He didn't want to be like his father, and he never thought he was similar to him.

"Red alert. All the personal reaches the combat positions" the speakers boomed.

"It has already found us" Misato observed, frowning. If the angel had found them, they were in big troubles. 

"So it appears... it was expected. Magi had esteemed that it's a sort of giant individual weapon with intelligence inside... with its own rationality. It isn't controlled from the outside" Ritsuko explained.

"So... it like an EVA"

"Yes, it is. The JSSDF wasn't able to stop it" Ritsuko replied evenly.

"I saw their bomb... they nearly destroyed my machine" Misato replied angrily.

"But they had damaged it, giving us some time" Ritsuko stated.

"So, what are we going to do ? We haven't much alternatives."

"The commander had ordered to prepare unit 01 for the fight"

"But does it work ? You said that it was impossible that it could be activated... and besides, we don't have any ready pilot" Misato asked thoughtfully after the initial surprise.

"I never said that, don't be silly. I said only that it's highly improbable that we could activate it, not impossible. Impossible doesn't exist" the scientist countered, before thinking to herself _surely not with the evangelions._

"Do you have discovered something new about it ?" Misato asked.

"No. MAGI had esteemed the probability that we could activate it in 0,0000000001 %, like always... that's why we call it unit o-nine instead of 01..." it was a joke that the maintenance crew found funny, and even Ritsuko had found that nickname appropriate, for completely different reasons, unknown to Misato and to the crew.

Now, it was even more appropriate: the salvation of mankind from the angels, in the hands of an oni*.

"Ritsuko, aren't we going on the wrong way ? The command center and the Commander's office are in the other direction" Misato was enough sure that they were going towards the wrong direction, now.

"We aren't going to meet the Commander. First, I want to show something to Shinji"

The boy emerged from his thoughts that were wandering about the soon to be encounter with his father, when he heard his name.

"Something ? To me ?" he asked surprised. He didn't know what was so important to take the precedence over his father.

"Yes" the doctor simply answered.

Misato, seeing as the corridors were becoming larger, had some idea about what Ritsuko wanted to show Shinji, even if she didn't understand why her friend choose that moment... or maybe, Misato was simply trying to not understand.

During their walk, they passed in front of a strange yet scaring sight: from a damaged wall, a giant hand was protruding out, half closed in a spasm.

Shinji was too lost in his reflections, his eyes fixed on the floor, to notice it. Misato gazed distractedly at it, remembering the day if the test. She hoped nothing similar would happen now that they need their weapons.

The trip finished in front of a dark door made by steel. Ritsuko picked up her badge, and passed it in the electronic lock. 

A green led flashed, then the door opened with a hiss.

"Be careful, inside it's dark... wait a moment while I switch on the lights..." Ritsuko said.

Shinji entered that dense obscurity along with Misato.

Now, Misato was sure about where they were: Ritsuko had led them to the cages.

The scientist found the switch, turning the big lamps on the ceiling on.

Suddenly, the light defeated the darkness, and Shinji and Misato found them in front of a giant, purple face. They both baked off few steps.

_... when has Ritsuko become so melodramatic?_ Misato asked to herself. She was prepared, but the sight had made her gulp, even if she knew that what emerged from the darkness wasn't a demoniac apparition, but a man made creation... the kind of weapon she was going to use.

To Shinji, the sight was more terrific. For a brief instant, he would have sworn that the 'thing' looked at him, its eyes flashing with red light, moving to eat him, his own soul, but when he blinked, everything disappeared. It was only a joke made by his stressed mind. 

The giant was unmoving, dead... or better, asleep, ready to awake and destroy.

This was his impression: that thing seemed eager to destroy, to kill. Obviously, it was a weapon... a dormant one, a god of war, a grinning devil... waiting to be awakened.

He felt little and insignificant, in front of that purple giant, dressed in what seemed to be an ancient samurai armor, with that horn protruding from the forehead of its helmet. The grin on his face was like a skeleton's teeth. The main body was only a dark shadow covered by the same fluid in which Ritsuko had swum before. Only a part of the massive shoulders, blocked by big pieces of machinery, were visible, emerging from the liquid.

Shinji understood that it wasn't a demon... not knowing that soon its opinion would change back to its first impression. It was something else.

"That's... that's a giant robot!" he exclaimed. 

It was the same stuff that one could read in a comic... it was unbelievable, but after having seen a true, ugly, huge monster, Shinji had to accept even the reality of the giant in front of him.

"That isn't correct. That it's the multi purpose fighting machine, artificial humanoid Evangelion... the most powerful weapon ever made by man" Ritsuko explained.

She could have spoken in Russian, for Shinji. The only thing he understood was that it was a weapon, but he understood that without need for an explanation.

The machine in front of him seemed strangely familiar, now that he looked better at it... like he had seen it before, but he couldn't tell where, or when... he could only say that it was still scaring him, even now that he knew it was only a machine.

_Probably, I'm remembering a robot from a cartoon which looked like it_, he thought, even if he was sure that he never saw something similar on television.

That was the first encounter between the boy and unit 01 and it wasn't finished yet.

"So, that's my father's work" Shinji mumbled.

Before Ritsuko could reply, another person in the cage revealed his presence his voice echoing through the huge hangar.

"Exactly."

Shinji looked up. Higher than the head of the giant, there was a glass. Behind the glass, he saw the dark silhouette of a man.

He looked down, at his feet.

The voice spoke again.

"It has been a while".

* * *

_Itch. _

_He laid the pen on the sheet he was writing, gritting his teeth. The itch had started again. Unyielding, implacable itch. He knew it was only a trick of his mind._

_A dirty trick._

_It was a kind of torture he never imagined._

_It would start slowly, just a sensation of uneasiness on the back of his left hand. A negligible tickle of his nerves, but it would start to grow maliciously to slowly gain his full attention._

_Growing subtle like a cancer, worming its way through his brain._

_He tried to keep it away from his mind, busying himself in some task, but the itch only gained power the more he tried to ignore it. _

_Slowly, not only the back, but only the palm of his left hand would start to itch, then between the fingers. The itch would then move on, from the hand to the wrist, as if the tissue of his jacket wasn't cotton, but wool. _

_He could feel his skin, red and irritated from the prolonged contact with his clothes. If he closed his eyes, he can see the redder skin._

_Some sweat forms on his forehead. He knew that soon the itch will pass, the same way it arrived: unnoticed._

_Without knowing how, he would be again perfectly fine, no more itches on his left hand._

_Still, this was only one scenario, just a itch he couldn't scratch._

_There was another scenario. After the itch, the pain could start. A throbbing pain, through his flesh, would the bone, then dull ache would settle in. _

_But he couldn't fight that itch._

_Sometime he desired to smash his left hand hard against the desk, shattering his own bones with a stone, breaking, gnawing away his fingers in desperation, but he couldn't do so._

_He was ready for the pain: inside the first drawer of his desk there was a little bottle, filled with white pills. The best painkiller money can buy. He thought of them as a weakness, so he tried to avoid them. _

_After his first serious encounter with the pain after the itch, he changed his mind._

_However, the pain was something he understood. It was an old friend visiting him again, the pain. Sorrow was his companionship, never leaving him, but pain would just drop by for a quick visit, shoved away by his pills._

_He knew how to deal with pain, he knew how to deal with sorrow: there were ways to leave them behind, at least for a while._

_The itch was another question. Itch would last, not letting him off the hook. Pills weren't effective against it. Nothing was effective against his itch._

_As powerful as he was, it was a itch he couldn't scratch. An itch he wouldn't **never** be able to scratch._

_He adjusted his glasses on his nose with his right hand, then he laid both his elbows on his desk. Only then he remembered that he could no more interlace his fingers together._

_Turning his head, he looked at his left arm. Exactly where his left hand should have been, there was an empty space._

_Covered by his jacket, there was the stump of his left hand. Hidden under the sleeve, there was a clear cut, halfway between elbow and wrist. It had been a miracle he didn't die for blood loss when it happened._

_His eyes narrowed to tiny slits behind his glasses._

_The itch was a constant reminder that they still had to pay for having interfered with his carefully crafted plans. Soon, he would meet them again._


End file.
